Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Co 1:3). Amen.
Here is a little exercise. It is mental, not physical. But it still may make you sweat. On a scale of 1-10, how good are you at relationships—ranging from poor to perfect? A low number means not so good and a higher one is much better than average. I am going to ask that you avoid the number 5. I know that it is there—right in the middle. It is not like a skyscraper in downtown St. Paul which may omit a digit. The 13th floor may not show up on the elevator panel or in the stairwell, but it still exists. The reason is that I want you to fall on either side—1-4 or 6-10 of the scale. Go with what is reality and not fantasy—what you have to answer rather than what you want to.
If we are honest, we might not put ourselves in the category of an expert—landing on the lower side rather than the higher end. We can use help in getting wiser. And we have it. From the Lord through the apostle. Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom about relationships—regarding our spouses, our sentiments, and our stuff. We read from …
I Corinthians 7:29-31
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus, who brings light to life,
When I inquire about relationships, what comes to mind first? I am guessing with people. And that is true. But I am going to suggest others. We have relationships in marriage, but also with our mindsets and our means, in other words with our thoughts and with our things.
There is probably room for improvement in all three categories (going back to that 1-10 gauge)—moving from a 2 to a 3 or even from an 8 to an 8.1. (Did anyone rate themselves that high?) I am not poking at a new year’s resolution that may have already gone south: “This year I was going to be better with my relationships.” And we are hardly halfway through January and no transformation. Even if that is the case, we turn to God’s Word through the apostle Paul.
And it fits with the season of the church year that we are in—Epiphany. Recall that it means to “shine forth” or “show forth.” And that is what Paul does. He makes known and makes clear.
Paul Reveals Epiphany Wisdom about Relationships
1. Regarding our spouses (29,31)
3. Regarding our sentiments (30a)
2. Regarding our stuff (30b,31)
1. Regarding our spouses (29,31)
It is a word problem. I am sorry if that brings back bad memories of algebra. When it comes to a man and a woman who have promised to live together for a lifetime (as God has designed [Ge 2:24]), what does 1+1 equal. Again, it is a trick question. 1 + 1 = marriage. And it is God’s institution and God’s idea. So we listen to him and learn from him. Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom about relationships regarding our spouses.
Perhaps an important disclaimer (or two).
This discussion is for those who are married and those who are not. It is like the 6th Commandment. Remember the explanation? You shall not commit adultery. What does this mean? We should fear and love God that we lead a pure and decent life in words and actions (That is for the unmarried and married.), and that husband and wife love and honor each other (That is for the married.). We want to grow in our knowledge no matter what station of life we are in.
Paul was a bachelor. But he was not a woman-hater. Nor is he against God’s arrangement as if he is bitter or belligerent. He is God’s representative as he writes (1 Co 1:1).
Marriage is a blessing. It goes back to the perfection of the Garden of Eden. God had declared: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Ge 2:18). [That does not imply that an individual is lesser or lower if they are single. Or incomplete or inadequate. We are all entirely God’s child whether or not we have a ring on a particular finger (Ga 3:26).] That is when God built Eve out of a rib and brought her to Adam. That plan is still in place for society.
There is no closer relationship in all the world than between a husband and wife. Let that sink in. None comes close—not the one between parent and child, not even the one between boyfriend and girlfriend. The two are “one flesh” (Ge 2:24). It is not surprising that God uses that connection as a picture of him and the Church. In fact, it was Paul, who in another letter, links a husband’s love to Christ’s love. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy … and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Eph 5:25-27). Just as a girl is most beautiful on her wedding, that is how God sees us, his Church, as his bride. Soon Lent begins and we will see Jesus demonstrate his love as he delivers himself up to his enemies and dies on a cross—for us. So then why the strange statement? “From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none” (1 Co 7:29).
There was confusion in Corinth about a number of things. But Paul writes to them; he does not write them off. “What I mean, brothers” (1 Co 1:29). “Brothers.” That is critical. He scratches this epistle to fellow believers—those who had the same faith in the same Father (1 Jn 3:1). It is crucial to look at two sentences that bookend this section. (It is true of how we view, not just our spouses, but also our sentiments and stuff.)
“What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short” (1 Co 7:29). It is like closing one of those Ziploc sandwich bags with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in it (Mt 24:22). The world is slowly and steadily coming to an end. God had determined a definite time which no one knows (Mk 13:32). We are to be ready and waiting for this event of special significance when what is now will suddenly cease to be. And nothing on earth or of earth will be essential.
“For this world in its present form is passing away” (1 Co 7:31). The structure of this world will not last forever (1 Jn 2:17). When Jesus comes again on the last day, there will be a new heaven and a new earth (Re 21:1). It will be perfect—no more problems and pain. It will be spectacular—no more difficulty or death (Re 21:4).
So now: “From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none” (1 Co 7:29). That is not an excuse for sinful carousing. As good and God-pleasing as marriage is (and it is), it is not to get in the way of Jesus’ return. It comes down to a First Commandment issue. You shall have no other gods. What does this mean? We should fear, love and trust in God above all things. A husband loves his wife (and vise versa), but that does not replace one’s loyalty to the Lord. The focus is to be on him as the top priority. A husband still treasures his wife, but he turns his attention to God. Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom regarding spouses. God first and others follow.
3. Regarding our sentiments (30a)
It is a worldwide problem. That is because we all have them—feelings. Sometimes they are out of control. Other times they are in a row. It is like a rollercoaster. (I am not a fan of those.) How do we cope? Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom about relationships regarding our sentiments.
Again, it appears as if it is a paradox. “those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not” (1 Co 7:30).
How does that look?
“those who mourn, as if they did not” (1 Co 7:30). There are occasions, often even, when tears run down our faces. That is normal and natural. God made us that way to express what is inside—sadness or sorrow. We all have those things that cause waterworks. And the hardships and the heartaches are real. And it also seems as if we sob while the world celebrates.
But Jesus instructs: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Mt 5:4). That happens now when we call to mind God’s pardon of us (Mt 9:2) and his presence with us (He 13:5). And then we can rejoice in the Lord always (Php 4:4).
But we also look forward to the day when Jesus appears on the Last Day. Then he will wipe away every tear from our eyes (Re 21:4). The hurt or harm is short-lived like the discomfort of riding many hours on the way to Disneyland. All is forgotten when you see Mickey’s big ears. Heaven will be greater and grander than that.
“those who are happy, as if they were not” (1 Co 7:30). Happiness is a gift from God. Life is not all about gloom. There is gladness. Enjoy that. But there also is a recognition of our guilt. That is what Jesus proclaimed: “Repent and believe the good news!” (Mk 1:15). There is a change of mind. We do not state: “I want to go against God. Instead “I want to I want to go with God.” While there is a realization of our sin, there is a reliance on our Savior. God sends our wrongs away because he set them on Jesus. We imitate the Ninevites when Jonah preached. They “believed God” (Jonah 3:5). Like them, we say, “Amen.” We are free from sin. God says so; it is so. As the psalmist had us sing: “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him” (Ps 62:1).
And so we number our days correctly so that we gain a wise heart (Ps 90:12). Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom regarding our sentiments. We keep our emotions in check as we check the skies for Jesus.
2. Regarding our stuff (30b,31)
It is a worldly problem. The various ads on TV announce it. The Valentine sales in stores scream it. “You need more, more, more.” And we buy into that materialism. “This or that will finally make me content.” Will it? Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom about relationships regarding our stuff.
It comes down to our attitude, or our approach. It is not just accumulating, but appreciating. Once again, there are two considerations:
“those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep” (1 Co 7:30). Whether it is with paper or plastic, we purchase different items—from computers to cars to clothes. Those are gifts from the Lord who owns everything (Ps 24:1,2; Ja 1:17). He hands them to us to hold on to for a while. We would do well to consider them on loan. We only have them for a short time. We utilize them on earth to provide for the well-being of our families or the work of the church, to pay taxes and help others, understanding that God entrusts them to us, but we don’t put our trust in them (Ps 62:10). They quickly fall apart like a toy or quietly fade away like a banana. We worship the Creator of things, not created things. And just like Simon and Andrew, James and John, we follow Jesus (Jn 1:16-20). Everything else—business, wealth, even family—all comes second.
“those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them” (1 Co 7:31). And so we use, not abuse, our resources—our incomes and our assets—for our advantage, not staring at them constantly like some do with their phones, not looking up or away (even while walking). This is not the be all and end all because all will be at an end.
Paul reveals Epiphany wisdom regarding our stuff. It is temporary. Heaven is permanent. That is our ultimate possession.
Do you remember that number on the relationship scale? You don’t have to tell anyone. Or it is fine if you forget. I am going to suggest that it go up and not down—to progress rather than regress. Thankfully Paul reveals epiphany wisdom about relationships regarding our spouses, our sentiments, and our stuff. Those are earthly benefits from the Lord. To be with the Lord has eternal blessings. Happy Epiphany. Amen.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with you (1 Co 16:23). Amen.
January 21, 2018
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